Well, to say a good friend of mine is wrong to say this to me would be lying. I do hate Valentines Day. Okay, maybe 'hate' is a strong word, but I detest what it stands for.
Now, before you all leave at this point, I'll just gently prod you in the direction of the title and ask you to consider that maybe, what I'm going to write isn't necessarily what you may be expecting from the start.
So, yes, for the sake of this, I hate Valentines Day.
One random day of hoicked up puffery on steroids to make up for 364 days of dreary sameiness, designed to make single people everywhere feel panicked for attention and for companies to make money from hurriedly bought tack we hope will appease someone this one day.
And yet...
Every single one of us has someone, someone that could ask us out today and we'd jump at the chance without a second thought and not look back. Even I'm very much included in that. But why?
Truth is, it's certainly not just today that we'd jump at that chance. It's every day.
'It's the day of love.' Is it? Why isn't June 23rd the day of love? November 4th? August 8th? (hinthintnudgenudgeforgetmybirthdayyouwillnotwinkwink) Why are these arbitrary days not days of love? My sole point is, they should be. They are if you make them so. Therein lies my problem with Valentines Day. We bill it as the sole day within the year to show someone how much they mean to us. How important they are. How wonderful they are. How much we love them. How much we adore them. How much.... well, we'd quite like the chance to
My question is, if you only take this one day a year to show someone how important they are to you.... are they really that important to you?
Why can't we do this normally? What's wrong with showing someone how important they are to you every other day of the year? Why not make a big gesture to someone when the feeling compels you to, instead of in the confines of when you're told you should?
Now, when I informed said friend of this highly enlightened and opinionated position of mine, I got an undeniably short shrift. It wasn't about only having one day to show people they're important to you, thoughtful people do that all the time, it's about one day a year you can be romantic if the mood takes you and not be afraid of being laughed at.
So, for the oasis of romantics left amongst a world of cynics, it's about confidence.
You know, I have absolutely zero problem with that. Here's where I realise, I don't actually have a problem with Valentines Day.
It's the attitude to the other 364 days in the year I have a problem with. We have just one day in the year where we feel we can express ourselves and be safe from ridicule. One day a year. Then we complain about how harsh, unyielding and unhappy our world is.
Fuck. That.
What's wrong with love, passion, desire, affection? Feeling? Nothing. What can stop us from showing it in a way we're comfortable with? Surprisingly enough, nothing. If you feel these things, you feel them every day as well as today. Don't let one day rule your confidence to do things, to say things, to show things.
Tell someone you love them.
Show someone how amazing they are to you.
Tell someone you feel like you could fall in love with them if you could give yourself the slightest chance.
Tell someone they... they make you happy just because.
Tell someone that spending time with them means the world to you.
Tell them and show them in the ways you know how. It doesn't have to be huge gestures, it can be, but it can be all the little things too.
Do it today. Do it tomorrow. Do it whenever you feel is right for you. Do it with caution but without trepidation.
If someone will judge you for that, that says far more about them as a person than it does you.
And if you're recently alone wanting to take time out or happy alone and in no big rush to change that? That's absolutely awesome. You do you and you rock it. Don't let anyone tell you you're wrong in that.
The point is, don't let any limitations or confinements dictate to you.
It's not down to anyone else to decide how, when, where, or why. Don't let yourself be told you have to, today, but also don't convince yourself, or let yourself be convinced, you can't any other day either.
Just....love. Love freely. Love happily. But also, love genuinely, or it means nothing no matter what day it is.
Roses are red,
Violets are red,
Shit, the garden's on fire.
No comments:
Post a Comment